1. Your baby will love you no matter who you are, what you have been through, or what you have.
2. Your presence, touch, and voice calm your baby. You are just that valuable and unique (smile).
3. Your baby is going to look into your beautiful eyes for strength and courage to fight through obstacles because you are the sign of strength.
4. Your purpose intensifies with newfound ambition for work, school, goals, and dreams.
5. Smiles will never go out of style.
6. You will have the chance to be a real-life superhero, not just on Halloween.
7. You can be yourself
8. Free entertainment -The smallest moments are priceless.
9. Your hugs and kisses are everything to your baby. Only you can provide the real deal.
10. YOU GET TO BE A KID AGAIN without having to make up excuses!
No matter what you are going through or what you are thinking, never forget how strong you are. Look how far you have already come in life. Being a mom is the greatest gift in the world, and I am willing to bet you will be pretty awesome at it!
P.S There is no such thing as a perfect mommy
What moments or milestones do you look forward to with your child?
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If I have learned something in the past year is that everything on this list is true. I was so sure about adoption was the best choice for me when I was pregnant, I was so sure my baby deserves a better life, I was so sure she wasn't mine but theirs. I was so sure that my baby would grow up hating on me because I didn't give her what she deserves, I wasn't sure I didn't deserve such good miracle as a baby. But then when I held her for the first time I just fell in love with her. In that moment I knew she was MINE and I was HERS. And yes my life hasn't been easy but I don't regret anything about it, and the best pay I could recieve is from a little princess who is my everything and don't know about nothing but hugs and kisses. That's the best, the hugs, the kisses, knows that there's nothing better to them than you, knows that you're her super hero because you can make the monsters get away, knows that you won't miss anything like the fist step, the first word… is the best feeling ever, and I am so sure I never will regret my desicion of parent my baby instead of adoption. And I was, just, 18 years old…
Thank you so much for sharing about your experience as a young mother. I am so happy to know you made the decision to parent your beautiful little princess. You are a hero to someone out there today. You are your daughter's hero. It is true that no one ever said being a parent is easy, but I believe it is truly worth it. I am so happy for you and knowing that it has been the best feeling ever for you!
You are wise Wendy.
Thank you for reading and your comment.
This is beautiful. Anyone contemplating giving up their baby should read this. Just a thought – I have yet to meet anyone that regrets keeping their baby, but too many regret giving their baby up. You will never regret keeping your baby. Ever. Ever. Ever. I guarantee there will NEVER be a day, in your entire life that you will ever say "I wish I would have given this baby up" but I can almost guarantee that if you do give the baby up, you will spend your entire life agonizing and you cannot undo it. You will regret it. Keep your baby, love and care for your baby.
I will ALWAYS regret giving my baby up. She DESERVED having me, her mommy, be her mom. I cannot change the past but I can let women know that losing you child for adoption changes you (negatively) forever. It is a sorrow that never leaves.
I have two kids I was able to keep (well I was married, UGH, like that matters to a child) and mothering is the most amazing job in the world.
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I really appreciated this. I was terrified at first but I'm reaching out for encouragement and I'm glad I'm finding it
This story was great to read! I'm a recently diagnosed type1 diabetic(june27) and I just found out I'm pregnant yesterday! I'm going to be 23 in December and the father says he is NOT ready. He says he supports any decision that I make because he loves me but I am nervous! I'm in school full time and I was just getting used to managing my diabetes. I'm very healthy now as I've been working my butt off for a few months but I've been considering adoption. My family says they will support me with what ever I need because I'm a smart and caring girl. My Bestfriend is excited, but I wish that I could financially support this baby and I can't because I'm a full time student. The father has a job and my mother said not to worry about money. But I can't help but feel like it should be my duty as the mother to be able to provide for this baby. I would love to keep this child but financial problems are huge deal to me…
Only when you start to interact with mothers who have relinquished children do you understand the life long sorrow and heartbreak they experience. Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. As an adoptee, I encourage you to keep your child… you have a family who says they will support you, so rely on those resources to help you keep your child. It's a lie that the "adoption industry" tells that a child placed will have a better life… this is a lie.. they can only promise a different life. Was my life made better by adoption? NO. It adoption forever affect every fiber of my being? Yes. Take a look at a site called http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com It's a site run by Claude a mother who relinquished her first child… lots of good unbiased information. Good Luck & i'll keep you in my thoughts
HI Melody, thank you for reading this post, and I am glad that my post was able to encourage you. First, I would like to say congratulations! Wow, finding our you are having a baby is such a blessing. One of the greatest gifts in the world.
I know things may be tough right know financially and you might feel overwhelmed, confused and nervous. Right now I want you to know that financial complications are temporary. Struggles are normal. They are what makes us stronger and resilient. If this helps, I would like to share with you a little about my life. I, an adoptee, was in my undergraduate studies, and I had to care for my oldest sister two kids while I was in school time, worked full time, and was a cheerleader at my school for scholarship. I literally wanted to pull every strand of hair out of my head. I spent a few night crying as I struggled to keep my eyes open through class and figure out a way. I cannot thank God enough for giving the strength when I thought I couldn't do it. Today the greatest reward is seeing one of my nieces in her second year of college, and my nephew now in high school. I don't know if they would have made it without my help. I thought I was going to go through all of it on my own. I didn't really have family, but on the journey I found out that there are so many people with caring hearts that helped me along way and kept me encouraged. That temporary struggle I went through was all worth it. It has shown me that I can make it through anything. And I know you can, too! It might be hard, but what isn't it? Children are worth it all.
What is amazing right here is that you have a family that will support you. You also have the child's father that will support you either way. That in itself is AMAZING! You can do this girl! I have met so many birth mothers that were young, in school, and thought that adoption was the best option, only to find out 2-5 years later after they graduated and got on their feet that they made the biggest mistake of their life. Adoption is permanent. You cannot go back on the decision you made. Your finances and your current will change. You will have a child to work hard for and it will bring new meaning to everything you do. What a gift! Listen, I don't even know you, but I am incredibly excited for you and your future because I feel like you are coming our of all this on top and glad that you followed your heart in keeping your baby. Don't let fear drive you. Let your faith drive you, sister!
There are so many resources out there to help you get through this pregnancy and help you provide for your child if you need it. I don't think any mother was ever REALLY READY to have their baby. But I know they know it was worth every moment.
I would have given anything in the world for my mom to have kept me and never placed me for adoption if it were safe. My situation was a little different. Adoption has caused a great deal of heartache. My birth mom even regrets it. I feel bad for her. She was in a low season of her life when she gave me up. She came looking for me a few years later, only to find out there was nothing she will ever be able to do. She had to live with that for the rest of her life. I don't want you to go through what I see my mom go through now that I have met her. She cannot forgive herself and that hurts me.
I know you don't know me from a can of paint, but i am going to leave you with my Facebook contact. Please message me anytime if you need help or some encouragement.
I love you, believe in you, and I am praying for you!
You can do this! You are going to be an AMAZING mom!
Facebook.com/iamadoptedblog please send me a message any time 🙂
Please I'm begging you from a parent and someone who lives in the UK my child is being forced adopted and it is very final. I carried him for 9 months felt him move listen to his heartbeat saw him grow through scans and when I gave birth to him was one of the most happiest moment in my life I had instant love for him and I miss him everyday. It also kills me knowing he is calling a stranger mum they are putting him to bed choosing his school and I'll have no input in that choice. I'm sending you love I don't want to know someone else would be end up feeling the way I do as its hard xx
I am not adopted or a birth mum but I have been in your situation.
I found out I was pregnant at the age of 19 and I certainly wasn't ready for a baby and especially not financially ready.
My boyfriend said he was not ready too.
I was scared and uncertain what the future held for me.
When my little girl was born exactly 4 weeks after my 20th birthday I fell in love. This beautiful baby I held in my arms was mine and I promised myself that I would do anything for her and i knew that we would be ok.
My boyfriend wasn't ready but once he held his little girl he fell in love.
Fast forward 8 years and we are a very happy family, we have another beautiful girl, own our own home and we will soon be celebrating our second wedding anniversary.
My husband and I have been together for nearly 10 years and we have been through a lot. We were just kids when we had our little girl but we have grown up together and built a life for ourselves.
I'm not saying its going to be easy, parenting is never easy. But it is a wonderful thing and so worth it.
Whenever I hear that "mummy I love you" my heart fills with so much love and joy.
It is so so so worth it!
Hi Melody. The choice is yours of course. Obviously providing for your baby and financial considerations are very important to you, however I would just like you think of one thing. Have you ever heard a child say it loved its parents deeply but it wished they earned more money? Mother – Child bonds really do transcend money. This is a life long relationship based on love, connection and understanding. Yes, having money makes things easier but given a choice between money or your mother, which would you pick? They're not in the same ball park right?
I cannot speak for other birthmoms. But not a day has gone by in almost 16 years that I have not regretted placing my daughter. It seemed like the only option. I was 16 and alone. She seems healthy and happy. Her parents are wonderful. I am happily married with 4 kids and wonderful friends. But I still want her back and regret not being strong enough to fight my family and insist on keeping her. You cannot know the pain of losing a child before you have actually had one. Give birth. *Then* start looking at an adoption plan if you still feel that is what you need. But do not let yourself get sucked into being responsible for the happiness of a childless couple- or convinced that you would not make a good mother- before you even meet your little one face to face.
I think you should do what you think is best for the baby you are giving birth to. I am an adoptee and it was not a death sentence. It is more likely to struggle within the cycle of poverty than being adopted.
I am the adoptive mother of 6 blessings via foster care and I sincerely believe that if a few of my children's mom's had the support system and people like you have around you to care and support them, that they would have been able to care for their children. It is a forever decision. I love my kids but I am smart enough to know that I CANNOT replace my kid's dear first mommies. We look forward to having them in our lives if they so desire. Consider long term consequences and remember that things change and making such an important decision due to temporary circumstances can cause regret. Don't be pressured into adoption if you have one ounce of doubt in your heart. We have a happy home but there is heart break in all of my babies eyes that I cannot take away. Wait, pray, wait, pray and look at those around you that want to help 🙂
You make my heart sing for the opportunity that gives hope to mothers and fathers, that adoption takes from them permanently. A safe haven I hope, but hope for the children. I lost my child, to foster care, although I did not know that, and then to adoption. When I did find out, my daughter was four years old, her sister only nine months different who had lived with me a single father since her first birthday. My daughters are 29 years young, we are two years into semi union, are mothers themselves, three grandchildren I so often have about me, my lost daughter keeps touch by text, we reach out to each other daily, letting the other know are good wishes, the mundane events of our lives, exciting tidbits of our experiences, and a chance to say I love you often. My lost grandson, seldom do we get to see, but when we do, we are not strangers and hugs are warm, smiles beam, then cousins romp. Secrets are cruel, time is of the essence, being with our kids, they with us manna for our souls. Adoption strips them of their identity in this culture, of knowing the love their makers have for them. I have lived in agony, I still do, nothing mitigates separation. I am grateful my daughter found me, I get to start being her dad.
Finances should never be the reason a child loses his or her mother, family, heritage.
Not only will this expectant mom not always be as poor as she is today, there's no guarantee the adopters will always be financially fit. They're just people–like everyone else. Adopters lose jobs and homes and fortunes; they divorce; they become ill; etc.
My natural mom ended up being considerably more successful–not just financially, but in other ways, as well–than my adopters.
I lost SO much. And for what?
I was a teen mom who would have never considered putting my baby up for adoption. I loved her and cared for her the best I could, considering how poor I was. Even tried to better myself by going to college and getting a degree. She hates me because she was raised without the benefit of being upper middle class, although she had everything she needed, not everything she wanted. Haven't spoken in 10 years. So yes, sometimes apparently you should give up the baby for adoption. Appears they have no problem blaming the mother either way you go.
I am sorry as a teen mom this was your experience. I hope you all find middle ground & unconditional love. You will never have to experience the loss due to adoption, nor your daughter. That in it self is something to cheer about.