Best Selling Adoption Books for Children

    This week I posted a status on I Am Adopted‘s Facebook page ranting on the fact that I couldn’t understand how in 2015 adoptive parents are still keeping it a secret from their child that he or she is adopted. I also couldn’t understand why parents still felt the need to wait until their child was ‘older’ to tell them they are adopted.

    I thought we have progressed from this. I was wrong. I thought adoptive parents would have been educated by adoption agencies or other adoptive parents on the effects of keeping secrets from their adopted child about his or her adoption. I was alerted by adoptive parents that their agencies never gave them resources on this subject. Very typical of agencies. I am not surprised.

    In 2015, there is no excuse an adoptive parent doesn’t know HOW to tell their child he or she is adopted nor should parents be waiting to tell their child. There is a plethora of adoption books written for children, teens, and adults about being adopted. Many of these books are written by adoptees, the experts on adoption.

    The best way to introduce adoption to your child is by reading books to your children.

    Start as early as they come home and into your lives. Read to them everyday even if they don’t understand word for word what is happening in the book about their adoption story. You keep on reading that book everyday even if it takes years until your child starts asking questions. What you want is for your child to come to you comfortably and talk to you about their adoption journey instead of keeping it to themselves which could lead to future destruction to your child and family. Besides reading being fundamentally great for your child, as an adoptive parent it allows you to bond with your child and to show your adopted child that you are with them on this journey and they are not alone. They can trust you and trust that you love them and care for every part of their life including where they come from and their biological family.

    I understand every family is busy and so much going on, but I cannot stress to adoptive parents how important it is that your child know his or her truth right now. So no matter what you are doing right now put it down and go find your child and let the process of their truth begin. Follow up and continue with reading adoption themed books to your child (see my list below). Adoption talk need to happen continuously. Not just one time. Talk about it as often as possible until it is a part of your lives and it sounds normal. This isn’t going to change how your child will look at you because if we are going to REAL, I know many adoptive parents don’t want to have this talk because they fear their child will think of them differently. Far from the truth. I respect the fact that my adoptive mother and I can sit down at any time and talk about my adoption or adoption in general. I love her so much for that. It has shown me they type of love adoption provides because she never made my adoption about her; it was all about me and she was comfortable in her skin as my ‘adoptive mom’ even though to me, she is my mom. This is how adoption should be.

    So even if you have to, hold off on a couple lattes or happy hours and purchase a book that will help you to introduce adoption to your child’s life you have no idea how much this will improve your relationship with your child in the years to come.

    My favorite Best Selling Books on Adoption for Children: please click on the photo to read the synopsis of the book, read reviews, and order. 

    What books have you read or do you recommend?
    If you have any questions or need further advice, please post your question in the comments ✎
    Please share this post with your adoption community and friends ♥

     

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    11 Comments

    1. Amen! It is so bizarre to me that anyone would keep this info in the dark! My parents read about adoption and talked with me about it from such a young age that I have no idea when I "figured out" I was adopted. That's one question I'm frequently asked when I bring up my adoption to someone new: "When did you find out?" I'm proud to say that I never "found out" because it was just always a universal truth to me! The sky is blue, the grass is green, I was adopted as a baby.

      I think people are afraid and end up in a situation where they're afraid to tell after making the mistake of not telling immediately. Could that be what's happened in some situations? They don't bring the child up on the idea and then they're afraid to "break" this very life-changing news? Possibly, but all of this could be avoided by upfront honesty!

      • Hi Emily! I love how you put it, "the sky is blue, the grass is green, I was adopted as a baby". It should always be a part of our lives from the very beginning. It is so damaging to our spirit and our lives when we find out years later or as adults.

        There shouldnt be anything to figure out as you said. It should simply be something you have always known. Good for your parents! Send them a huge hug for me for doing it right! LOL. Makes my day when I hear stories like this!

        I think it is very possible that adoptive parents fear the backlash from their adopted child after waiting for so long to tell their child. However, I won't call it a mistake. In my eyes it is more their fears or personal desires that keep them from telling their child the truth. My only desire is that adoptive parents simply tell the truth from the start. It would avoid so many problems in the future.

        Thank you for sharing your thoughts and a part of your journey!

    2. Kris says:

      I agree wholeheartedly.
      Before we started out adoption journey (we are now waiting), I had a so-called "friend" pretty much demand that I never tell the child we adopt that they are adopted. Even cited an example of a teenager in his family who has no idea, even though the entire rest of the family obviously knows. Went so far as to call me selfish (I think the reasoning was that by telling I would be ruining their life). I ended the friendship right there. I just can't fathom lying or keeping a secret of that magnitude, in some attempt to re-write history. Its the child's life story to know.

      This is a part of why we are hoping for an open adoption – no secrets, no fumbling for explanations. The truth from the start.

    3. Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier a very good read re: adoption trauma. If you don't tell a child they are adopted they still feel that something is different, thus wrong and they internalize it.

    4. Unknown says:

      Thank you so much for listing these books! They look really wonderful. I wished I could have a good way to explain adoption, and I had no idea that such great books like these are already out there.

      • Hi! I am glad you enjoyed this list. Books are such a great tool! They help to break the ice. Not only that, the illustrations in the book often bring comfort to the child when sharing the story making it not sound too bad as if you were to sit your child down and try to explain it to him that way. Thank you for sharing your comment.

    5. Lizzy Sharp says:

      Do you know if there are any books/book makers who can create individualized adoption story books? We have most of the ones you listed, and we read them often. We have two little boys (both adopted), and their stories are so different… none of the books individually apply. I would love to have a fun, illustrated way for them to make sense of it as early as possible. We also have very open adoptions, so they already have relationships with their birth mothers and have special nicknames for them. We want to do everything possible to make them proud of their adoption stories and retain their individuality. I'd love some insight and suggestions!

      • Hi Lizzy! Thank you for your question. I wanted to begin by saying how awesome it is that you are in an open adoption and all sides are being celebrated. I love stories like this! Thank you for wanting to do all that you can to do adoption the right way and putting your children's needs first. I think creating/designing a book to tell your family's story is a really cool idea! I have two friends I can recommend:

        My first friend has a writing company – she is the author of a really good children's book titled, Sloan Saves the Day. She also owns a writing company that helps people tell their stories, copy writing, editing, ghost writing, resumes, anything to do with writing…she is on point and affordable. Her name is Laci Swan, she can be reached at Sharpeditorial (dot) com

        My other friend is an illustrator and blog designer. She creates these super cute designs. Her blog/portfolio can be located at maryangela(dot)in I put the "dot" in parenthesis to stop people from spamming in case u were wondering. LOL. Mary is actually doing some work for me now for this blog that I will release shortly.

        Please let me know if you have any more questions. Please keep me posted. I have never heard of anyone doing anything like this. It sounds like such an awesome idea. Who knows what make come of it!

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