Free mental health counseling with a therapist that specializes in the effects of adoption on adoptees
Seriously, when are people going to realize that adoption is linked to trauma and loss? This is not rocket science, guys. Free mental counseling should be in every adoption package for an adoptee for life. I am not talking about any old therapist or even one that specializes in adoption. I am speaking of a therapist that specializes solely in adoptee issues – loss, trauma, rejection, search, and reunion. A therapist that is #teamadoptees
No matter how well adjusted I may seem to be in society, I can openly admit I need counseling. I believe every adoptee does. The older you are as an adoptee the more profound loss and trauma becomes. But why in hell am I left to foot the bill of $150 plus an hour just to have someone help me sort out the issues I have that I have no control over? I didn’t put myself in this situation, my birth mother did. Then we wonder why adoptees are more apt to suffer from addictions and are more likely to commit suicide than those not adopted. Adoptees need help, and we should not have to pay for it! Besides, who has that type of money to toss around. Most of us are just trying to keep the lights on in our home…and our mind.
We can all agree that early detection is the best prevention, right? Do you know how many lives would be saved and how much time and money would be saved if adoptees knew their medical history? It would avoid all the unnecessary tests and surgeries that apparently an adoptee would be paying for had he or she known what they were predisposed to. Adoptees have to pay to access their non-identifying information that includes their medical records, and in a few states have to wait until they are 18 years old unless they can prove to a judge that he or she is in dire need of this information for medical purposes. In the worse case, an adoptee has to hire an attorney to obtain this document, and god knows how much that will cost.
How does this even make sense? Why do adoptees have to pay to know their medical history?
Ah, the fight continues for equal access to adoption records. Did you know that adoptees are the ONLY population in the world that does not have access to their original birth certificate? Also, did you know that adoptees have an amended (fake) birth certificate that leads one to believe that the parents names listed on the birth certificate are the people that gave birth, when in reality they are not? They are adoptive parents, not the people that gave birth? Can you imagine spending your entire life thinking your adoptive parents gave birth to you and they did not? Talk about being pissed about being lied to.
In closed adoption states, adoptees have to file to petition the court (cost money) that handled his or her adoption to view sealed records. Upon accessing the records, adoptees invest hundreds and even thousands of hours trying to put the pieces of their life together in hopes to find their birth family. For those that don’t have the time or even the emotional strength to spend hours or years searching, adoptees have to hire private investigators to facilitate the search of their birth family.
Someone, PLEASE tell me why I have to pay to search for my momma?
I remember when I began my search for my birth mother and family years ago. I was in college and struggling like most college students. I would have days I felt I could not function because of my desire to know who I was. I had to find my birth family. The depression was REAL. I did a Google search, and BAM OmniTrace came right up. Desperate and vulnerable like most adoptees, I filled out the form online, and they gave me a call. Within minutes they were asking me to cough up over $1000! They have the nerve to say they are fair priced and affordable on their website. Affordable to whom? I told them I would give them a callback and I cried my eyes out because I did not have the money, and I so desperately wanted to find myself and my family. I later learned that people have spent thousands of dollars through OmniTrace and have yet to find their birth family or get a refund after being misled.
How can we possibly think that it is right to charge an adoptee a fee for any of these resources? I don’t care if the fee was 50 cents to reunite with our birth mother, it is straight up wrong! I am tired of these agencies and people preying on vulnerable adoptees that are desperate to find a piece of them. These businesses have figured out a way to capitalize on adoptees and suck the life out of us penny by penny.
My prayer is for adoptee advocacy groups to grow in alarming numbers and that our voices become powerful enough to create change. I pray laws change and lives are saved my opening adoption records and providing adoptees with free mental health counseling from the therapist of their choice that specializes in adoptee trauma. I pray more people open their hearts to adoptees and join the fight with us all even if they aren’t affected by adoption. This is an issue of humanity. We deserve to know who we are. We deserve to have all these resources provided to us free of charge till the day we die. Being adopted isn’t a feeling that goes away. It will always be a part of our life. We will always feel and be adopted.
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