15 Reasons Adoptees Search For Their Birth Family

    Every adoptee wants to know where they come from. How could you not want to know your birth mom after being placed for adoption. You have to get curious at some point. Let keep it real.

    I asked the question today on Facebook and Twitter, “What’s your number one reason for wanting to search for your biological family”…and here are the results:

    1. To know where I come from and my ethnic background.

    2. Meet someone I share the same blood and characteristics.

    3. Health and medical reasons.

    4. It was my first instinct once finding out I was adopted.

    5. I wanted to know my mom.

    6. Be nosey.

    7. To know if my mom was alive, if she’s okay, to let her know I am well and thankful.

    8. Circumstances of conception.

    9. I was mad at my mom, and I wanted her to know.

    10. Meet my siblings.

    11. I wanted my mom to know I didn’t hate her.

    12. I love you and forgive you.

    13. To end the secrets and find out the truth.

    14. I never felt like I belonged in my adoptive family, but I knew I would with you.

    15. I want to know if you love me.

    Why do you want to search for your family? Post below and I will be editing the document.

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    Jessenia Parmer
    Jessenia Parmer
    I'm Jessenia. I am an adult adoptee with 10 years of experience advocating and fostering relationships with adoptees, and over five years of experience teaching adoptive parents how to have a successful and genuine relationship with their adopted child.


    1. Anonymous says:

      To see where I fit in the world

    2. Anonymous says:

      To fill in the empty hole in my soul where my identity should be. I did find my birth family in 2012 and my soul feels much more complete now.

    3. Anonymous says:

      I literally just found my bio fam last year even though I am perfectly happy with MY family and have always viewd them as such, there is still that small part behind all the love and good times that wants 2 know why. Why me? AND if tgere are others (siblings, young or old) then you really want 2 know why me? And even after you do find out the facts why and the circumstances there can still be a can of worms regarding the emotions. I wanted 2 know if I had siblings since because of my age my brothers and sister and I didn't grow up 2gether ( I was vastly younger)…

    4. R says:

      Not just for me, but for my son as well.

    5. Ed says:

      Connection, closure, get to know my heritage, understand myself better, try to enlarge my family, and help my natural mother have peace of mind

    6. Me says:

      Then you have the adoptees that “Do not wish to persue a relationship”. Thats what I was told by my daughter 3 years ago even after I told her Icdidnt wish to disrupt her life, I wasnt “looking for anything”. I would never get between her and her parents. I would actually thank them.
      I actually have a feeling of mourning. There is total loss. At least when I was searching, there was hope.

    7. DJ says:

      To see someone who looks like me, To see who I came from. To see the woman who for 23 years was a myth, a ghost, a bedtime story to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to meet my her. I don’t even know if my birth dad knows I exist. I want to meet her and maybe them I’ll be able to let go of the feels of hurt, confusion, and anger go.

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